Look Me in the Heart

This is for entertainment purposes only. The characters belong to ABC Circle Films and Picture Maker Productions. No infringement intended. This tangent is mine. As always with love and thanks to Glen Gordon Caron, Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis for the wonderful characters they created that live in my heart.

Here I am back again with yet another version of the Moonlighting saga. There are so many options and directions it is hard to pick one. This story needs to be credited in part to John Dorsey who wrote the Fan-Fic episode called “It Was all a Dream.” In my comments to him I realized that I felt the last great show was “Between a Yuk and a Hard Place.” In fact I will go so far as to say that the last great – truly great – scene was that night in the elevator. IMO No words just feelings and a reconnection – of sorts. It got me wondering what would have happened if Maddie and David talked and tried to work out their relationship then. So I pulled out the Moonlighting pen again and here I am with another chapter (FYI this is a one time only tangent ... there will be no virtual season to this). Please enjoy. As always, comments are encouraged.

The other person I must give credit to is Tina Turner and her songwriters. The songs (while normally not linked with the David and Maddie story) Look Me in the Heart (the title), What’s Love Got to Do with It, I can’t Stand the Rain, You Better be Good to Me, Simply the Best and Let’s Stay Together are the themes for this fan-fic episode.

It is the morning after Maddie and David were trapped in the elevator. The doors opened and Myron was amazed to see David and Maddie holding hands singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. He shook his head and followed them down the hall picking up the harmony.

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Inside the office Agnes was smiling when she saw the two enter.

Maddie cheerfully said, “Good Morning, Miss DiPesto! How did you sleep?”

“Great. Great, Great! You?” Agnes answered back.

“Lousy.” David smiled handed Maddie her briefcase and walked toward his office.

“But Great.” Maddie walked toward hers.

Maddie and David paused in front of their respective office doors holding what appeared to be a meaningful look and a connected smile. The staff looked back and forth between the two. Agnes sense of victory was broadening her smile. It worked: the deception, the sabotage, the butting in worked. They had found their way back to each other – or at least a common ground.

“Miss DiPesto?” David took his eyes from Maddie to meet Agnes’. “Can you…?”

“…Cancel your reservations?” She finished his question.

“Yes, I won’t make it today. Make them for tomorrow – same time, same channel.” He did not wait for an answer from Agnes. He did not look back at Maddie. He started singing again. “Leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again…” And curled into his office and closed the door.

The entire staff turned to look at Maddie. The smile she wore a moment before had melted into disappointment. She tired to fake a smile but instead her head, shoulders and gaze dropped. She walked to David’s office, knocked quickly and entered. The staff looked after her, then toward Agnes. She was devastated. MacGillicudy walked in.

“So, how did Operation Elevator go?” His grin was out of place in the mood of the office and was wiped away quickly.

“We got shafted?” Agnes slumped down on to her stool. Burt walked in behind him and heard what Agnes had to say.

“I told you not to interfere, but you wouldn’t leave it alone…” His I-told-you-so angered Agnes.

“HERBURT! If you are not part of the solution that you are part of the problem.”

“Those two need to work it out for themselves.”

“But that doesn’t mean they CAN!” She stood up so that she towered over him. “How can you be so unfeeling? So uncaring? So uninterested in your own survival?”

“My own survival?”

“Don’t you see – if they split – so do we. If they go down in a blaze of glory – us – all of us – will be nothing more than nameless extras.”

“Extras?”

“Do you know what that means?”

“It means auditions, acting classes…” Burt looked upset.

“Being known as ‘that guy that used to be on that show.’”

“… playing bit parts in B movies and guest spots on bad sitcoms. Oh my god – we have to get them back together.”

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Inside David’s office he is in the bathroom “freshening up.”

“David, may I talk to you?” Maddie’s voice was her usual harsh, abrasive tone, but there was a note of hurt in it as well. He mumbled an acknowledgement.

“You are still going to Virginia.” She stated.

“Shouldn’t I?” He called from the bathroom.

“Of course you should.” She paused and wanted to say something other than she said. “I mean – well – I thought you might have changed your mind.”

“Should I?”

“Yes, I mean No, nothing. You should go. If you think you should go. Do you think you should go?” She had her back to the bathroom and was absent mindedly looking at the items on his desk. David was watching her from behind. The apprehension was evident in her and that made him apprehensive.

He walked back into the bathroom so that she would not know that he had been watching her. “It is a very comprehensive class … FBI … CIA … NSA .. one of those. I think I could pick up some really useful stuff.” He was standing looking at himself in the mirror. It was clear that he didn’t believe a word he said.

“Oh well then – I guess you should go.”

“You don’t want me to?” Again from the bathroom keeping the distance between them at a maximum.

“No, well yes, I mean if you think that it would be advantageous. I can certainly keep the home fires burning for a week or two.”

“If you need me to stay …”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You should go.”

He poked his head out of the bathroom. “Ok I’ll go.” The presence of his voice in the room startled her and she turned to see his face. He was grinning at her “If you think I should.”

“Of course.” They held a very long look. The tension in the room was so thick it could be cut with a knife. There were so many words that could have been said, so many feelings that could have been expressed, so many issues to be resolved, in only one of them had taken the first step. “It’s only two weeks, right?” She said with a tone of arrogance.

“It might me more … two, three, not more than five or six.”

Maddie’s disappointment was becoming impossible to hide. After a long pause, where the eye contact was not broken, she said flatly, “Take as much time as you need. You have earned it.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she dropped her gaze and left the office without another word. David looked after her and looked disappointed and unhappy. He had won is objective, which was not to hurt her as much as it was to show that he was his own man. That he did not dance to her tune any longer. He closed the door to the bathroom.

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Inside Maddie’s office, she had taken off her shoes and was pulling off her panty hose. She had untucked her shirt and taken off her jewelry. Her hair was flat and hanging down limply. Her make up had worn off during the night and the dark circles under her red eyes were very apparent. She was far from being the glamour girl that had made her famous, but there was still a beauty about her that shone through.

She was staring off into space looking for something that wasn’t there. She leaned back in her chair. Her eyes attempted to fill with tears. She was not going to let herself cry. If truth were told she had pretty much cried herself out last night. David was there for that, he had held her and comforted her. He shed a few of his own tears. They did not talk about what they were feeling; the loss, the loneliness, the hurt and the pain. Maddie had thought that they were so in-tune that words would have been a waste. It appears now that they were feeling entirely different emotions. Last night she believed that they were on the road to recovery. Last night she sincerely felt the love for David that she had been running from for the past 10 months if not 4 years. Last night she thought he felt it too.

She walked into the bathroom and turned on the water to wash her face. As the steam collected on the mirror, Maddie looked at herself. Every line, wrinkle, and imperfection in her still beautiful face was plainly evident. She saw clearly, in the steamy mirror, all that she had been, all that she had become and all that she had lost.

== The Music came up: Look Me In the Heart sung by Tina Turner ==

== Last night we tried to touch. But we never got close ==

== Last night we tried to talk, ==

== The words got caught in our throats ==

== When we finally fell asleep, We couldn’t have been further apart ==

== Look me in the heart, If you think that love is blind ==

== Baby, look me in the heart, And you’ll see that I’m ==

== So crazy ‘bout you, baby, And it’s not me in my mind ==

== Can’t you look my in the heart, Look me in the heart ==

== You tried to say that I’m, Hiding from you ==

== You act like a spy. Always looking for clues ==

== Now you’ve heard about my past. ==

== But why don’t we try to make a new start ==

== … Now remember how good we used to be together ==

== Remember, baby, so be tender, baby ==

== Remember the love we said would last forever ==

== I know we can make it like that again. ==

Every hollow place inside of her ached as she looked back at her life. So instead she focused on the future and what it would hold. For the first time in 4 years she didn’t believe that David would want to be a part of that future. She couldn’t blame him and she didn’t. The blame lay completely on Maddie’s shoulders. Justifiably or not – she was taking upon herself the fault for everything. Maddie took her seat behind the desk and let her mind go blank.

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A soft knock on the door and Agnes walked in. “Miss Hayes, the mail just arrived.”

Maddie made no response but took the mail absent-mindedly from Agnes and started sorting through it. Agnes stopped at the door and looked back at Maddie. She couldn’t help herself. She needed to meddle again.

“Miss Hayes, I need to say something.” Maddie did not look up. A thick envelope that had come in the mail distracted her. “I know that this is really none of my business and you are probably going to get very angry with me for sticking my nose in but… I have to say that I think you and Mr. Addison…. I think if you ask him not to go to Virginia he would stay…”

Agnes babbled on for a few more minutes, making her points and backing up her ideas with historical facts. Maddie was not listening. She was reading though the documents that she pulled from the envelope. A look came over Maddie, as if something was made clear. Finally Maddie dropped the papers on her desk, got up and walked toward the window. She made a small noise that Agnes thought was a laugh or smirk and then she wrapped her arms tightly around herself.

“Miss Hayes? Miss Hayes, are you alright?”

Maddie finally turned toward Agnes. Her expression was unreadable.

“”Agnes, I’ll be at home.”

“Home?” Maddie picked up her purse and shoes and walked toward the door. “But Miss Hayes… What about Mr. Addison?”

As soon as Agnes mentioned David, Maddie stopped dead in her tracks. Her door was open and she could see that David’s door was not – how like them. She did not turn to Agnes, she did not want to see how what she was about to say would affect Agnes.

“Tell Mr. Addison to have a nice trip.” She said softly trying to maintain control over her voice. Maddie left, striding purposefully out of the office in her bare feet, only taking her eyes off David’s door at the very last moment.

Agnes worked her way around to Maddie’s desk to see what upset her. The papers were the final bill and medical reports from the hospital: the birth certificate and death certificate; the doctor’s report was on top. The child, a son, had lived for 4 minutes. The space for his name as well as the father’s was left blank.

“Miss DiPesto?” David’s voice called from the doorway nearly frightening Agnes out of her skin. She dropped the papers that she was holding.

“Mr. Addison! I was just…”

“Snooping! I can see that.” He walked toward the desk. “Where is Miss Hayes?” He picked up the papers and started looking through them.

“Miss Hayes went home.”

“Is she coming back?” He was not really paying attention to what he was saying or the responses he was getting.

“I don’t think so.”

“Fine. Well I’m headed out too.” He dropped the papers back on Maddie’s desk without reaction. “I’ll come by this afternoon to pick up the tickets.”

“Mr. Addison?”

He was discussed. “Look Agnes – I know you mean well, and I am willing to let that little elevator thing go … but please – with all due love and respect – it is none of your damn business.” His voice betrayed no anger or irritation. It was a well pointed statement.

“Yes, sir, it is.” David left without further remark and Agnes was left alone knowing that it was all out of her hands now.

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As soon as the doors closed in the elevator, David was alone – truly alone. Those hospital records affected him as they had affected Maddie. It was the check for the mess they had made over the past 9 months with a balance due of $40k. It disgusted him that the hospital could be so callous, business like, unfeeling about such a horrendous event in two people’s lives. All that lost hope, those broken promises, dashed dreams – spoken and unspoken – were condensed into a few pieces of paper – with a “remit to” of at the bottom. He tried to put it out of his mind – he had only loved Maddie, he was only prepared to raise her son as his own. It was not like he lost anything … real. That is what he told himself anyway.

David, however, missed the secret in those documents. Maddie had not. The fatherless nameless male child was 29 weeks along not 32 weeks as was presumed. The baby was David’s and not Sam’s.

David leaned his head against the back of the elevator and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. All he wanted was this episode to be over. He let all his facades down and his true feelings were crystal clear for those of us who could see him. He was completely and totally wiped out. There was no shine in his eyes and there was none of that cock-sure attitude in his backbone. He could barely hold himself up. There was no strut to his gait and no heart in his soul. Everything caught up with him. Between Sam, the too much and then too little sex, Chicago, the waiting, Rita, the pregnancy, jail, Mr. Hayes, Terry, Walter and Maddie’s uncertainty about their relationship though out the entire disaster – his feelings of love and hope were twisted and tested and pushed beyond all reasonable limits. Maddie’s words rung in his ear, the words she said in the Laundromat the night before she ran away to Chicago:

“If this is love it’s too hard, if this is love I’ll live without it.” Maybe she was right – for both of them.

Now almost 10 months later, those red hot and ice cold feelings that kept him tied to Maddie and to Blue Moon for so long, were gone. And he didn’t want them back. For the first time, he was convinced that he and Maddie never belonged together – not personally and not professionally. For the first time since she walked into his life, he wished she had closed the agency a lifetime ago.

He climbed into the back seat of the cab. He briefly thought of going to Maddie’s but changed his mind. He was tired and hungry and what he really wanted was a drink. He told the driver to take him home and he leaned back and stared out the windshield of the cab. He would deal with Maddie and Blue Moon when he got back from Virginia. The rain was coming down in buckets and the water blurred the view of the streets. He wasn’t really looking anyway. He had his own visions playing inside his head. There were of he and Maddie and the life they had and would have had together. They were all diluted now as if the rain were washing them away.

== I CAN'T STAND THE RAIN ==

== I can't stand the rain, Against my window ==

== Bringing back sweet memories, ==

== I can't stand the rain, Against my window ==

== Because she's not here with me ==

== Hey window pain, Do you remember ==

== How sweet it used to be ==

== When we were together, Everything was so grand ==

== Now that we're parted, There's a one sound ==

== That I just can't stand, I can't stand the rain… ==

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The first thing Maddie did when she got home was strip the remaining clothes she had on and stand in the steaming hot shower until the water ran cold. It was not refreshing, soothing or calming as she hoped it would be. It actually only intensified her irritation. She tried to sleep but could not. She couldn’t shake the odd feeling that she would never see David again and the impact that would have on her life. She paced her house trying to distract herself.

== Simply the Best ==

== I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire ==

== You come to me, come to me wild and wild ==

== When you come to me, Give me everything I need ==

== Give me a lifetime promises and a world of dreams ==

== Speak a language of love like you know what it means ==

== And it can't be wrong, Take my heart and make it strong baby ==

== …In your heart I see the star of every night and every day ==

== In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away ==

== Just as long as I'm here in your arms, I could be in no better place ==

== …Each time you leave me I start losing control ==

== You're walking away with my heart and my soul ==

== I can feel you even when I'm alone, Oh baby, don't let go ==

== You're simply the best, better than all the rest ==

== Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met ==

=== I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say ==

== Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead ==

David was the one who never give up on her – on them – until now. For the first time she knew that David would not be there to con her, charm her, trick her, cajole her into staying. She no longer had the luxury of knowing that he would always be there – ready, willing and able to make her want something – need something – that she did not know she wanted or needed. She wondered if she could take that roll this one time. No, it was not her style.

Early in the evening, Maddie dressed and drove to David’s apartment. She needed to see him, to talk to him. She needed to apologize. She needed to tell him about his son. Her reason was not clear. His mind was made up, she knew that, but she couldn’t let him go – them go – without so much as a good bye. She had to try to gain his understanding – if not forgiveness.

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David was packing. His suitcases were in the living room with nearly every article of clothing he owned lying on top of it. The stereo was up very loud, TINA TURNER’s voice was cracking the walls. David was singing along and mocking her movements and voice while moving back and forth between the living room and the bedroom.

== What's Love Got To Do With It ==

== You must understand, Through the touch of your hand ==

== Makes my pulse react, That it’s only that thrill ==

== Of boy meeting girl. Opposites attract ==

== It’s physical, Only logical, You must try to ignore ==

== That it means more than that ==

== …It may seem to you, That I’m acting confused ==

== When you’re close to me, If I tend to look dazed ==

== I read it someplace, I’ve got cause to be ==

== There’s a name for it, There’s a phrase that fits ==

== But whatever you do, You do it for me ==

== …I’ve been taking on a new direction, But I’d have to say ==

== I’ve been thinking about my own protection ==

== It scares me to feel this way ==

== …What’s love got to do, got to do with it? ==

== What’s love but a sweet old-fashioned notion? ==

== What’s love got to do, got to do with it ==

== Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken? ==

Maddie climbed the stairs toward his open door without ever really knowing what she was going to say to him. She watched unnoticed from the doorway for several minutes and smiled at him. He eventually caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye and turned off the music.

“Maddie? What are you doing here?” He was confused by her amused stare. “I was going to call you tomorrow.”

She smiled and shook her head. “I thought I should come by tonight. Almost packed for your big trip?”

“Did you come by here to make sure I didn’t forget my toothbrush?” She shook her head again and walked in taking a seat on the stairs.

“No I didn’t.” She paused, looking for the words to say.

“I’d offer you something to eat but I just threw out my last piece of dried cheese.”

“Nothing – thank you.”

“Beer? Shot of Jack?”

She smiled. “No. Thank you. -- Thank you?” She said to herself as if she had found what she was looking for.

“I am sorry David.” He started to speak but she held up her hand. “Please – I am sorry that things turned out like this.” She stopped herself as if she were scolding her own words. “I am sorry that WE turned out like this.”

He leaned against the wall and let her talk. She only occasionally made eye contact with him. The emotional distance between them was too great. She could not bear to look into his face and see the stranger he was becoming.

“I am sorry for many – most - almost all the decisions I made; Chicago, WaIter …. I am sorry for every doubt I had and I am sorry that it cost us both very dearly.” Her eyes started to tear up but she forced them back by sheer will. David made no move to comfort or stop her. “I am not sorry that we happened, just how it ended.”

“Ended.” David said softly. At this moment in time, he believed that there was not too much more for them to do but finish.

“I need to tell you something.” She continued after a moment. “I have spent all day wondering if it were something you needed to hear or just something I needed to say and I still don’t have a good answer.” She paused again and David shifted his position slightly.

“The baby – was yours.” She looked him in the eyes to see his reaction – if he had one she could not read it. “I know that it makes little difference now, but I wanted you to know.”

He nodded absent-mindedly.

“I want to have your name put on the birth certificate.”

“Why?” He asked quickly. That one little word was full of meaning – anger, frustration, hurt. Why did she need to ask him now?

“Because regardless of the circus that preceded his birth, he was conceived in love.” Maddie stopped to look at David to see if he would disagree. He looked away. “I don’t want our son to not have a father on the record.” David nodded slightly.

“They let me hold him – did I tell you that?” David said in a distant voice. She shook her head. “He was so small he could almost fit in one hand. He was beautiful – in a sticky red sort of way. He looked like my Uncle Glenn after he had been drinking. He was so small.” He shook his head trying to scatter the memories. “Fine, Fine – do what you want. Is that all you have to say? I really have to finish packing.”

Maddie stood up and turned toward the door. It was a mistake going there without an agenda. She stopped in the doorway still with her back to the room.

“Thank you, David.” She said.

“What?” He asked in a surprised voice. She turned back toward him.

“Thank you. You have been a good friend and a great partner. I want you to know that I really appreciate what you have brought to my life – the good, the bad, the terrific and the infuriating. Because of you, I have learned a lot about myself and people and life. I am only sorry that it came at such a prohibitive price.” She looked right through all his distance and bravado to his heart. “I’ll miss you David.”

David was unsure as to what to say. “Sounds like you are saying ‘Good Bye’ for good.”

“Aren’t I?”

“I’ll be back in a couple of weeks.” She shook her head and stepped back into the room.

“No you won’t David. We both know that.”

“How can you know that?” He asked disgustedly. “I don’t even know that!” She pointed toward the suitcases and the boxes in the corner.

“Two weeks David?”

“I want to be prepared for anything?” He tried to smile and she did too. He looked uncomfortable, like he was somehow supposed to justify his choice but he didn’t know how to do that without hurting her. The truth of the matter was that he didn’t know how he would feel in two weeks – he didn’t know if he would be back.

“It’s OK David. You don’t have to explain. We’ve been through hell – I can understand why you would not want to go there again.”

“Would you?”

“Actually…“ She nodded. “I would hope that I would not make the same mistake.”

“Which ONE?”

“FINE - Mistakes.” She paused for a moment and stepped down the stairs toward him. “I believe the worst is over for us. But regardless of what I feel, I’ll have to accept that there are some storms that just can not be weathered.” He looked down and away. She got very close to him and stroked his face with her hand. He looked into her eyes.

“I love you David. I always will.” She paused. “I am sorry. You were right.” He cocked his head as if to ask about what. “When you said I needed you to live – way back when.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “That is all I really came here to say.” Slowly she turned and walked toward the doorway.

“So what happens now?” He called after her.

“You go on your seminar and in a month or two or three – when we are all sure that you are not coming back – I’ll close the office.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.” She shrugged her shoulders fighting back the tears. “Do you want to know what I will miss the most?”

“My singing?” he smiled.

She shook her head. “The sparkle in your eyes.” She got very sad. “Go find your sparkle David.” She walked out of the apartment.

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David arrived at the airport an hour before his flight. The line was painfully slow it took him nearly 40 minutes to get to the front of the line. He really did not notice the time his mind was spinning with all sorts of feelings and images that he could not get a handle on. The attendant waved him over.

“Morning.” He said to the top of her head. He handed her his ticket and pulled his ID from his wallet. “Yes, I packed my own bags. No, no one has asked me to carry anything on the plane and no, they have never left my sight.”

“That is fine sir – your plane left 24 hours ago. This ticket was for yesterday.” She handed it back to him.

“That’s impossible. My secretary called and changed my reservations.” David pulled back the ticket and it indeed was for yesterday. He looked disgusted. Agnes was meddling again. He shook his head and rolled his eyes. The attendant was clicking away on the keyboard.

“I can book you on the 4 o’clock to Virginia through Denver and Dallas. You’ll arrive at 2am. That is the first seat we have available.” She was disinterestedly annoyed waiting for his answer – it was not quickly forthcoming. “Sir? Hello? Shall I book you on the 4 o’clock?”

“What else you got?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Never mind – refund the ticket.” He handed it back to her and picked up his bag. He stood on the curb waiting for the next taxi trying to decide what to do. The cab pulled up and he opened the door and flopped down in the back seat.

“Where to Mac?”

It occurred to David that he had to go – out of town – out of Los Angeles. He couldn’t take the chance that he would see Maddie, not now, not for a while. He didn’t want to go back to Philadelphia. He was a man without – anything.

“Hey Buddy, sometime today?”

“I’ve got $300 bucks in my pocket – how far will that get me?”

“I’ll take you to Mexico for that.”

“Head ‘em out. Stop at a liquor store before you hit the 405, will ya?”

“You got it.” The driver headed out of LAX and they were bumper to bumper on the 405 headed south in less then 15 minutes with a bottle of Jack Daniels and two bottles of Sauza Anejo.

David stretched out in the back seat and took a long hit from one of the bottles. The driver tried to talk to him, but David asked for the radio to be turned up. The driver slid a tape into the deck and turn up the volume. David leaned back and tried to let his mind go blank. The music came up.

== BACK WHERE YOU STARTED ==

== Baby tell me what you're trying to prove, ==

== Playing games with my heart ==

== Hey now listen, I ain't gonna take one more night, ==

== You're the one who broke the rules ==

== And I'm the one who played the fool ==

== Now you're trying to tell me it's alright ==

== You should know better than to hurt a friend ==

== You'll never get another chance again ==

== You'll be back where you started ==

== I know you won't admit it but you're broken-hearted ==

== Back where you started ==

== You think it's gonna be easy but it just gets harder, harder ==

== You had a way with words ==

== One look and I was under your spell ==

== I didn't know should I stay or should I run ==

== You can't deny you told me lies ==

== Love'em and leave'em baby, that's your style ==

== I'm not afraid to take life as it comes ==

== You play with fire I guess you'll never learn ==

== You mess with me babe, you 're gonna get burned ==

== You'll be back where you started ==

== Then you'll know how it feels when you've been discarded ==

== Back where you started ==

== You think you got it made but it won't get you far, no it won't get you far ==

== Who's gonna help ya, throw you a lifetime ==

== I'll tell you one thing, you've really done it this time ==

== You took your one chance and let it slip away ==

== You're not the kind who'll ever settle down ==

T== he rumour's getting out all over town ==

== You'll be... ==

The next thing David remembered was waking up on the beach in San Diego, Mission Bay to be precise. A kid was poking him.

“Hey mister – wake up.” It was after dawn. “Hey mister – are you dead?”

“LEROY!” A loud woman’s voice called from a little distance away. “Leave that man alone. If I tol’ you once, I tol’ you a 1000 times – don’t be botherin’ strangers. You get your butt over here before I come over there an’ give you what for.”

“But Gramma – I think he’s dead.”

“Dead drunk is more like it.”

“But Gramma.”

“LEROY – don’t make me tell you again.”

“Yessum, Gramma.” The boy trotted back to his grandmother and David sat up. His head was pounding, his mouth felt like it was coated with fir, the sun hurt his eyes. He tried to focus, but vision was too blurred. He looked in the direction the boy went and he could almost make out a very large black woman and the boy.

“Look Gramma – he ain’t dead.”

“Looks like he wishes he was.” She laughed. David looked in her direction and wiped his face with his hands. The old woman got up and moved toward him.

“Son you look like you could use a strong cup of coffee.”

“Yes, ma’am I could. About a gallon ought to do.”

“Well come on then.” She held her hand out to him to help him up. “Let ol’ Jackson fix you up. I got just the ticket.” David allowed himself to be pulled up. He nearly fell back down again, but she steadied him. “LEROY!” She bellowed and David’s head throbbed painfully. “Grab his bag – come on now – don’t make me say it twice.”

Jackson took David up to a little bar just off the beach. It was closed at this hour of the morning, but she let herself in the back way with a key. David threw himself into the nearest booth and laid his head back. The room was spinning and he felt like he was going to be sick. A few minutes later she came out of the kitchen with a pot and a cup. She set the cup down in front of him and took the seat opposite. David sat up, picked up the cup and took a big gulp. He started coughing right away and she laughed.

“Should’ve warned you – that there is the morning after cure.”

It took David a minute to catch his breath and stop coughing. “Morning after what – a nuclear war?” She laughed. “What’s in this? Rocket fuel?”

“Pretty close. It is a family secret, I could tell you but…”

“Yeah, yeah I know … then you have to kill me. So let’s get on with it. Kill me now.” She laughed again. She had a great laugh – it was from deep within her and reflected in her eyes. David took another drink from the cup and was almost able to suppress the cough.

“So who was she? Wife? Girlfriend? Lover? Mother of your children? Someone else’s wife?” David looked her in the eye. He thought of denying it, but he really didn’t have the strength and he knew she wouldn’t believe him.

“Boss.”

“You did this to yourself over a job? Son you don’t deserve my coffee.” She filled his cup.

“Actually, she was all of the above.” He added softly more for himself than for Jackson, “…or should have been.”

“You know what they say about shittin’ where you eat?”

“Yeah, Yeah, and hindsight is 20-20.”

“And you were innocent as a new born babe, I suppose?” He looked at her with a smile as if he had been caught.

“Well, maybe not innocent, but certainly not guilty.” She nodded as if she didn’t believe him.

“Where are you headed?”

“Mexico – I think?” David reached in his pocket to pull out his wallet. It was gone, with all his money and his ID. “But now – no where.”

Jackson studied him for a moment as if she were adding things up. After a moment or two she said firmly.

“There is a room upstairs – it ain’t much – infact it ain’t nothing but a storeroom with an old cot. There’s a shower too – such that that is – but the water is hot. Yours if you want it until you can get word to who ever.”

David looked at her for a long moment. She was clearly a woman without an agenda, at least as it pertained to him. “Thank you …” He was looking for her name.

“The name is Annabel Lee Jackson Smith. Been goin’ by Jackson my whole life – Papa wanted a boy. I own this dump.” She extended her hand to him he took it slowly.

“Addison, David Addison.”

“Addison? I knew an Addison once, from Alabama. He owes me $500 bucks.”

“No relation.”

“Figures.” She got up from the table. “You looking for work?”

“Maybe.”

“Don’t play games with me son – I’ll kick your ass back out onto the sand as soon as look at you.” He smiled knowing that she could too.

“I suppose I am.”

“How are you behind the bar?”

“I can pour a drink.”

“Can you stay sober – or close to it so as not to drink up all my profits?”

“I think I can manage that.”

“Fine – start tonight at 5 o’clock. LEROY!!” Her voice pierced his ears and he winced. “Take Addy here upstairs and show him around.”

“Ms. Jackson?”

“Just Jackson, son.”

“Jackson, you don’t know me from Adam.”

“I don’t know Adam either. But I got a feeling about you – just your lucky day I guess. Don’t cross me boy!”

He smiled and finished his coffee. He had no intention of crossing her.

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A little over a two weeks later – New Year’s Eve – Maddie sat in the empty office watching the city streets 20 floors below. She had given the staff the two weeks of Christmas and New Year’s off with pay. She assumed that she would know what to say to them about David when they got back after the holidays. She was really hoping that she wouldn’t have to say anything. David might come back; she knew in her heart he wasn’t. And that was confirmed earlier that day. She had gone to his apartment to see if he had returned – at least to LA. She met the new tenants. It seems that he had sublet his apartment – rather the apartment manager had sublet it – rather RENTED it. She could get very little information from the new tenants. They were a nice young couple. She couldn’t ever remember being that young or that idealistic. The apartment was full of furniture unearthed at Goodwill. It was hard to see it as David’s place at all. They were trying to be helpful, but Maddie felt the walls closing in on her. She excused herself quickly.

On her way out of the building, she ran into Colin, one of the young men who lived below where David used to live. He stopped her in the hall and asked if she knew when David was coming back.

“I am not sure, why do you ask?”

Colin explained that David had to left his stuff (6 boxes of records, stereo equipment, weight bench and his suits) with him and his roommates to store. The rest he just gave them. Then he added, “We just found out that we gotta move next week.“