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LAST UPDATED 04/19/2007 @2:59 P.M.

2006 CLFL CHAMPIONS

Aberdeen Zerkillers

Joe Christensen's Aberdeen Zerkillers finally take their 1st CLFL Crown
 

Aberdeen is quite an interesting story.  Hot on the tail of yet another, "I'm done!" season, Joe heads into the season without his co-owner for the first time since the leagues inception.  The Zerkillers history has been marred by missing the playoffs by one game or squeaking in and getting bounced early.

Led by Baltimore's defense most of the way, a late season trade in which the Zerks acquired Peyton Manning solidified their roster for the stretch run.  Deuce McAllister and Rudi Johnson also provided a punch throughout the regular season.  Aberdeen obtained the number two seed and faced the top seeded Compton Niggaz in CLFL Bowl 11. 

Heading into Monday night, Compton needed average games to win from Marion Barber, Julius Jones, and Reggie Brown.  It seemed feasible but it didn't happen and Aberdeen boasted an 84-74 victory.  Itwas the highest scoring championship game in CLFL history.

Congratulations to Joe and his first CLFL Championship. 

 


2005
CLFL CHAMPIONS

Baltimore Blast
BACK TO BACK BITCH!
 
(INSERT PIC OF MIKE VRABEL OF THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS)

As the Blast and Weasels headed into week 16, they both wondered if they could overcome the loss of each of their RB's.  As it turned out, Thomas Jones hit the 100 yard mark for the blast, while Tomlinson disappeared for the Weasels.  A missed FG by Neil Rackers (54) was an omen as well.  In the end, the Ravens defense couldn't produce big points and even had 2 points taken away on a meaningless last minute FG by the Vikings.

On Monday night, with the Weasels up 5 points, Tom Brady was able to hit LINEBACKER Mike Vrabel for 2 TD's from the 1 and 2 yard line.  Thanks Belichick!  :)

It all adds up to the lowest scoring final in the CLFL's existence and a 48-44 Baltimore victory.  Jeremy Hunt's Blast repeat as CLFL Champions, while the Weasels will go back to the drawing board after going 0-5 in 5 Championship appearances in the last 7 seasons.

Aberdeen had the highest score of the week, and Pasty Gangstas the 2nd, as Aberdeen took 3rd place and Pasty takes 4th.

As always, there are so many "woulda, shoulda, coulda's" in fantasy football.  A good fantasy owner just tries to get into the playoffs and then it's in fates hands.  Fate was with the Blast this year, and I would like to congratulate Jeremy and his squad for putting together another team from scratch that, once again, led him to the title for the second year in a row.  GREAT JOB.

Thanks again for a great season and great company on Sundays.  See ya next year...

Love,

The Commish
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox 










ARCHIVED BULLSHIT BELOW
WEEK 16

Weasels, Blast to face off in the CLFL Championship 

In one of the most interesting finals matchup's in CLFL history, the #1 seeded Washington Weasels will try to defeat last year's CLFL Champion the #3 seeded Baltimore Blast.

Washington's regular season record was 9-3-1, but the team faded late in the season.  Although hoping Tomlinson will play this week, Coach Weasel isn't worried about whether or not he does play.  

"Michael Turner is more than capable of running on the Kansas City defense.  Look what Barber did to them last week.  Lamont Jordan is hobbled and has a poor matchup, so we're hoping Holt and Burress can step up and that our defense (Baltimore, ironically) will have a solid showing against the Vikings on Sunday night.  Hunt's a tough competitor..."

Washington was able to get a big game from the Ravens defense on Monday night to secure a 66-47 victory over Aberdeen in the semi-finals.

This is Washington's 5th Championship game appearance in the CLFL's ten year existence.  The Weasels have never missed the CLFL postseason.  Washington averaged 66.2 ppg, best in the CLFL, this year with one less game than Baltimore due to their bye week.

On the other side of the field the Baltimore Blast, who posted a 9-4 record as the Madden division champs,  tout one of the CLFL's most lethal running games.  Rudi Johnson, Thomas Jones, and FA godsend Samkon Gado will lead the charge for the Blast.

When asked who his starting QB will be, Coach Hunt had this to offer:

"I'm gonna go with Brady.  It has to come down to Monday night.  When I saw Barber and Plummer last week, I thought I was dead"

The Blast were able to overcome a deficit with solid showings from Rudi Johnson, Thomas Jones, and Eric Moulds, enroute to a 64-52 victory of the #2 seeded Pasty Gangstas.

This is Baltimore's 3rd total CLFL Championship berth and second in as many season's as a solo owner.  The Blast averaged 57.7 ppg on the season.

Washington has had horrific luck on Monday night when the league is on the line.  In 2000, Marshall Faulk had 4 TD's on Monday night against Tampa Bay, allowing their opponent to overcome a large deficit win by 5 over the Weasels.  Vaseline hands Fred Baxter allowed Curtis Martin of the Boston Strangers to prevent the Weasels from getting to the final in 1999.  The Buffalo Boneyard were also able to defeat Washington in the championship with Monday Night Magic in 2002.  Will the Weasels finally survive a Monday night?  Or will Tom Brady foil the Weasels once again.  

Stay tuned and thanks for playing.  

CONSOLATION GAME
#2 Pasty Gangstas  vs  #4 Aberdeen Zerkillers

  vs 
LINE: Aberdeen -3
O/U: 116

Aberdeen found heartbreak in the final four once again this season, as the weekend started with New England's 21 fantasy points all for nothing.  Coach Christensen has been unable to be reached for comment.  Overall the Zerkillers squad didn't hit their averages in week 15 and leads them to the consolation game vs Pasty Gangstas.

Coach Trexler's team without a helmet are just glad they made it to the final four.  The Gangstas have been an up and coming team throughout over the last 2 season's, and will try their luck again in 2006.

 

 

WEEK 15
Zerks to face Weasels; 
Gangstas to host Blast.
Week 14 recap

Week 14 in the CLFL saw the defending champs, Baltimore Blast, put a 73-41 hurtin' on the #6 seeded Buffalo Boneyard.  Coach Hunt was unavailable for comment, and was last seen dancing to Beyonce' music at the 3rd Ward Tavern.

Coach Acevedo of the Boneyard commented on the third meeting with the Blast on Sunday evening:  "Yeah, we're fucked.  Next year I'm gonna sit in the closet at the draft.  Kerry Collins is a fucker." :)

The benching of Collins seemed to be the beginning of the Boneyard collapse on Sunday, in which Bruce, C Johnson, and J Galloway totaled a paltry 5 points.  The Blast were lead by Tom Brady's 17 and 27 total points from Rudi Johnson and Samkunt Gaydoe.

The Blast will face the #2 seed Pasty Gangstas at Invesco Field this weekend.  Coach Trexler commented,"It's gonna be thin air for those Blast assholes."  Time will tell! 

In other action, it was 4th seeded Aberdeen over the Vice City Mambas, 56-43.  

Coach Brown said, "Yeah, it's unfortunate, but there's always next year."

The Mambas lost Owens and McNabb to retardation (Owens) and injury (McNabb) and were unable to overcome those losses with a zero from the high scoring Bears defense in week 14.

Coach Christensen was available for comment and stated, "The team didn't do very good this week.  I was glad to see that my favorite player, Nathan Vasher, didn't do anything to hurt us this week.  It'll be tough to beat Washington three times in one season, but we're up for it."

In the "lower scoring than expected" affair, it was Cadillac time, who led the offense with 13 fantasy points.  The New England defense scored 17 to the Bears 0, and that seemed to be the difference.

Aberdeen with face the #1 seeded Washington Weasels in what is sure to be a classic battle.

"It's tough to beat a team three times in one season", Coach Weasel said Tuesday morning.  "Although anytime you have two teams with the potential to explode like these two teams, anything can happen.  I'm hoping I get a little help from the law of averages.  My team has been horrible lately.  Rackers is back and we're hoping Foster can't go this week so plugger Davis can go for us."

It's also rumored that the Weasels may give Brad Johnson the first team snaps this week in practice...

week 14

The CLFL Playoffs are held in high regard by its owners.  If you made it here, you did a good job at managing your team throughout the season and had a little luck along the way.  If you aren't here, you probably managed your team, and had lots of bad luck.  Regardless, I want to thank all owners for their participation in the CLFL this season and I look forward to seeing you next year.  Good luck and Happy Holidays...

Love, 
The CoMmIsH    xoxoxoxox

#1WASHINGTON WEASELS 
                        (9-3-1, 861)
The #1 seeded Weasels, the league's highest scoring team, will need a full roster to compete in the playoffs.  A bye week helps them into the final four without effort, but whether or not Rackers returns will spell out the final decision of the Fantasy Gods.  Tomlinson and Jordan are a forced to be reckoned with in the backfield and team nicely with the Indy defense.  They will face the lowest remaining seed in week 15.
.
#2 PASTY GANGSTAS
                          (9-4, 749)
The CLFL's mystery man from Denver has a solid showing in 2005 and nails the #2 seed as a division champ.  With the tandem of Barber and James, paired with Brees or Plummer at QB, could have a solid showing with nice matchup's in upcoming weeks.  The Gangsta's will sit back and relax while enjoying a bye in the 14th week along with Washington, and play the highest remaining seed in week 15.

WILD CARD WEEKEND 
DECEMBER 11th

#3 BALTIMORE BLAST (9-4, 729)
VS
#6BUFFALO BONEYARD(8-5, 762)
These two teams met twice in the regular season, and split their meetings 1-1.  Most recently, in week 13, Baltimore defeated Buffalo to claim the Madden division crown, sending Buffalo to the edge of the playoff picture.  Buffalo had the tiebreaker over Compton, so here we are .  This is the third meeting this season between Baltimore and Buffalo and it should be interesting.  Look for Kerry Collins and Randy Moss to negate each other, if Collins isn't benched. Buffalo will need a solid performance from their WR'S while Baltimore will try to ride Thomas Jones and Rudi Johnson to pay dirt.  Defense could be a key in this matchup.  Baltimore will try to sneak Oakland in there against the abysmal Jets, while Buffalo will select either Minnesota (vs STL) or Denver (vs BAL).  

PREDICTION:  Coming Friday 


ABERDEEN ZERKILLERS (8-5, 766)
VS
VICE CITY MAMBAS (8-5, 832)
In another matchup that pits two divisional foes who split their regular season meetings, the Mambas and the Zerkillers have loaded squads.  Vice City showcases the three headed monster of Shaun Alexander, Mike Anderson, and Rueben Droughens along with the Chicago defense.  Injuries to McNabb and Owens have lessened the lethality of this squad, but they still managed to post 832 points, good for second highest in 2005 in the CLFL.  For Aberdeen, their own three headed RB squad consisting of Steven Jackson, Kevin Jones, and Cadillac Williams.  Although younger, I think these guys can have their games, and they will need to playing against Alexander and Co.  Aberdeen may have an edge at WR because Steve Smith is simply scintillating.  The New England defense will be the X factor for Aberdeen.  

PREDICTION:  Coming Friday

 

WEEK 13

*Head to head games in division are what I used to rank the teams this week.  Two teams play each other in two different divisions that will ultimately decide their head to head record for the season.  Read on...

In the Parcells division, Washington clinched the division last week and will secure the #1 seed in the playoffs with a win over Aberdeen this week.  A loss still ensures the #2 seed in the playoffs.  Aberdeen will need a win and a Vice City loss to get a playoff berth based on record.  If Vice City loses, they will, baring a miracle, get the #6 seed in the playoffs and play the #3 seed.   If Aberdeen loses, they would probably still get in because they have a nice point total and either Buffalo or Baltimore must lose (they play each other).

In the Lombardi division, Pasty Gangstas are the division champs and can secure the #1 seed with a win over Vice City, coupled with a Washington loss.  They could also fall deep into the mix should they lose with Baltimore OR Buffalo winning (guaranteed, they play each other).  Buffalo has more points right now than Pasty, and Baltimore would need to outscore Pasty by 19 in week 13 to make this happen.  Compton is going to need some help to get in the playoffs.  Their best bet would be a tie breaker of total points if they were to outscore Baltimore by 21 in week 13, coupled with a Buffalo win OVER Baltimore.  Pretty complicated.  I guarantee this weekend will sort for us clearly who is in and out.  

In the Madden division, Buffalo and Baltimore, both currently 8-4, will battle for the division championship.  The winner of this game could surpass Pasty's total points and win the tie breaker for the #2 seed with a Pasty loss to Vice City.  

The Boston Stranglers could get in on total points as the 6 seed if they were get their 677 total past Buffalo, Baltimore, Aberdeen, or Compton.  With the right teams winning and losing, coupled with a huge week where they are pitted against the remaining 7 teams for the 6 seed could get them in.  They need a miracle:  low shitty scoring from all teams and scoring about 90 points.  

I'm sure every scenario isn't here.  You can go through and sift the standings yourself to see any additional chances your team may have to get into the playoffs.  Playoff tiebreakers are located in the rules section of this site.  The most obvious scenario's are posted here and I wish you each the best of luck this week.  After that, I have my own agenda... :)  and some really shitty matchup's in week 16!  

GOOD LUCK NIGGAZ

THE COMMISH
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX 

KEY MATCHUPS FOR WEEK 13      

** = divisional matchup

**Buffalo Boneyard  vs  Baltimore Blast
**Aberdeen Zerkillers  vs  Washington Weasels
Vice City Mambas  vs  Pasty Gangstas
**
Compton Niggaz  vs  Boston Stranglers (COULD BECOME significant)

 

week 12 - 

Still up in the air it seems.  With 5 teams at 7-4, anything can still happen!  There is a scenario where Baltimore or Compton, should they end up competing for the final wild card spot based on points, could secede to Boston, who currently has more total points.  WOW.  

Baltimore currently has the divisional tie breaker over Buffalo, and they will meet week 13 to decide the division if they both have identical records after this week.  

Aberdeen has moved into the first wild card based on record spot, and currently hold the divisional record tie breaker over Vice City.  The two teams split theit head to head meetings this season.  Another reason they would be 4th is because they have a 664-661 advantage over Buffalo outside the division.

Vice City would then claim the 5th spot, based on record and points tie breaker outside the division.  

That leaves Buffalo and Compton with Buffalo claiming the 6th and final slot over Compton by virtue of total points.

This is going to be insane as it shakes out.  Good luck to everyone and hopefully you aren't the "lucky one".  :)

week 11 preview - It looks like Vice City would get the #6 seed with the highest point total if the loss of McNabb and Owens make them falter.  Anything could happen, all of the top 7 teams could get in as the #6 seed, with the records being so close, with VC having the top score if the playoffs started today.  

Boston, Upstate, and Iron City look like they MAY have an outside shot from some angle, while Seneca Falls and Nantucket are pretty much looking to play the spoiler and looking forward to next season.  

Everything else will probably shake up among the top 7 as they play out their schedules and jockey for position.  See the standings for divisional records.

 

WEEK 9  With 4 teams at 6-2, one at 5-2-1, and one at 5-3, anything can happen over the next 5 weeks.  It looks like a sticky one, please refer to the tiebreakers on the rules page for further information regarding the playoffs.  There is not an even field regarding games within divisions yet as the divisional games are scattered throughout the season, so this is just a rough estimate, and will be updated once per week on Tuesday.

Don't forget that, in the playoffs, you start THREE OVERTIME PLAYERS in case of a tie.  You will rank them accordingly and they can only be players at RB, WR, and TE.  Your overtime players are matched up in rank order and the highest scoring player in the first matchup wins.  If all three overtime players are tied for each matchup, the team with the highest scoring INDIVIDUAL player wins (QB, RB, WR, TE).  If that doesn't work, we're flipping a coin and this league will fold.

*SEASON ANALYSIS*
(through week 7)
10/25/05

Here's a look at where each team stands after the first seven weeks of the CLFL season.  There seems to be a gap between the bottom and the top which makes scoring points even more important than ever before for the 3rd wild card spot.

League Tidbits:
1)  There have been two trades this season, both for free agent picks. 

2)  The free agent market has yielded a few quality guys, such as Mark Brunell, but nowhere near as many gems as past seasons.  That means we do a hell of a job drafting and forecasting at the initial draft.  Good job.  

3)  Trade deadline:  Saturday November 12th @ MIDNIGHT.

4)  The free agent draft will continue throughout the REGULAR SEASON.  The free agent draft doesn't take place in weeks 14-16 for the playoffs, so try to forecast your rosters now to insure proper depth.

5)  In another reminder, don't forget that in the playoffs you start THREE OVERTIME PLAYERS in case of a tie.  You will rank them accordingly and they can only be players at RB, WR, and TE.  Your overtime players are matched up in rank order and the highest scoring player in the first matchup wins.  If all three overtime players are tied for each matchup, the team with the highest scoring INDIVIDUAL player wins (QB, RB, WR, TE).  If that doesn't work, we're flipping a coin and this league will fold.  :)     

LOMBARDI DIVISION

1.  Compton Niggaz (6-1)
Compton's geriatric unit of Favre, Martin, Taylor, and Rod Smith continue to produce for this team.  Along with a stout Redskin defense and Willis McGahee, Compton is a contender for the CLFL Championship.  They'll need to score a few more points to win in higher scoring matchups.  Overall, a solid team that you probably wouldn;t want to run into when they have the matchups.

2.  Pasty Gangstas (5-2)
Behind Marc Bulger and Edgerrin James, the gangsta's managed to get off to a 4-0 start before being dealt their first loss of the season in week 5 to division rival Compton.  This team will try to overcome the disappointment of Roy Williams, hope that Tiki Barber can remain consistent, and that one of their other WR's steps up.  The Eagles defense will need to pick it up as well.  Az Hakim was a nice pick up for Zach.  

3.  Boston Stranglers (2-5)
The zany T-Bone may have finally gone off the deep end!  With Mike Vick, Dillon, Julius Jones on the shelf, and Brandon Lloyd, this team is streaky at best.  Boston will need to string together a streak of 3 or 4 wins and have their players show some consistency to have a shot at the playoffs.  The Stranglers haven't been active in free agency, which may have hurt them as they even played a game without a QB in week 5.

4.  Iron City Nugs (1-6)
Aaron Brooks, Larry Johnson, and the Steelers defense have put up nice numbers for Iron City.   However, a disappointing Dom Davis and an under achieving receiving corp have led the Nugs to a 1-6 record.  They will need to rattle off some wins and score a lot of points to have a shot at the playoffs.  The Nugs have been active in the free agent market this season.   

MADDEN DIVISION

1.  Buffalo Boneyard (6-1)
The Boneyard has fielded a solid squad once again in 2005.  After the initial disappointment of 3rd rounder and rookie JJ Arrington not living up to their billing, they have pulled it together.  Darrell Jackson and Issac Bruce remain injured but, behind a reborn Mark Brunell (godsend FA selection) and Chad Johnson, the team has steamrolled to a 6-1 record.  

2.  Baltimore Blast (4-3)
After a hot start, the Blast have hit a 2 game skid and fallen 2 games behind the division leading boneyard.  Rudi Johnson needs to get on track for Baltimore, and the Bucs defense, Tom Brady, & Thomas Jones need to continue producing.  Baltimore needs Randy Moss to get healthy to make their run.  

3.  Upstate Ultimaholics (1-5-1)
Upstate's Trent Green killed them early in the season and then, just as Drew Bledsoe was getting hot, their faith in him was false as he crumbled again last week.  Clinton Portis has been a bright spot, but the receivers are lacking.  In a day and age where defense is huge in fantasy football, KC hasn't been getting it done for them.  A miracle is in order...  it's happened before.

4.  Nantucket Notaclue (1-6)
Nantucket's plan for Daunte Cullpepper was written a little differently by the Notaclue.  Two weeks into the season, Culpepper had thrown 10 interceptions and Burleson was injured.  An early pick on Tatum Bell that didn't pan out left the running game in shambles.  With the injuries starting to mount, Nantucket holds some of the league's most important backups and will be able to play the spoiler the rest of the season.  As always, a quality owner who is always trying to improve his team through free agency.   

 

PARCELLS DIVISION

1. Washington Weasels (5-1-1)
After an 0-1-1 start and scoring a measely 97 points in the those two weeks, the Weasel was scratching his head.  He wondered if his crazy Lamont Jordan and Michael Clayton picks would finally keep him out of the playoffs.  One player tried, but Jordan picked it up, and Tomlinson got on track enroute to a 5 game winning streak.  The Weasels will need Torry Holt to get healthy and for the Colts defense to keep producing to have a shot at the crown.   

2.  Aberdeen Zerkillers (5-2)
The Zerks think they may finally have found the chemistry needed for a successful fantasy run.  With rookie Cadillac Williams, Steven Jackson, and the best WR corp in the CLFL as a unit (Smith, S Moss, K Curtis) the sky is the limit for the Zerks this season.  They will need to get more production from their defense and have Carson Palmer remain consistent.  A week 8 showdown with Washington will decide the division leader heading into week 9.  

3.  Vice City Mambas (3-4)
Vice City returned to the CLFL in 2005 with a renewed interest in fantasy football.  After a solid draft which included Shaun Alexander, Donovan McNabb, and Terrell Owens the Mambas are the 2nd highest scoring team in the CLFL.  Vice City is on a two game losing streak but continue to produce.  They'll need the Bears defense, Rueben Droughns, and Mike Anderson to continue to produce.  Vice City could place in the playoffs by record, but also have the lead on the total points spot with 450 after week 7.     

4.  Seneca Falls Mafia (2-5)
On draft day, Mafia owner Matty gleamed at Manning, Harrison, and Stokley on his team.  Little did he, or anyone, suspect that his little brother, Mark Brunell and Drew Bledsoe would have more TD's that Manning after 7 weeks (11).  Cedric Benson will not be a factor this season and, with the recent loss of Ahman Green for the season, Seneca Falls is on the outside looking through the CLFL playoff window.  Disclaimer:  Miracles do happen... 


2005 CLFL CHAMPIONS:
BALTIMORE BLAST


Behind the solid running of Shaun Alexander and the superb play of the Buffalo defense, the Baltimore Blast earned this year's CLFL Championship.  The Blast exploded to an 89-48 drubbing of the 2nd seeded Buffalo Boneyard.

Able to overcome the loss of the tandem of Terrell Owens (to a broken ankle) and QB Donovan McNabb (played sparingly), the Blast entered the championship game with Back up Chad Pennington at the helm, and Lee Evans.  The two players performed well, taking the spot of the lethal tandem of McNabb-Owens.

Shaun Alexander and the Buffalo defense were integral over the last 6 weeks in the Blast's championship run, stepping up games and giving Baltimore a clear cut advantage, especially at defense.  

Buffalo took second place and had a great season, finishing at 10-2-1.

It was also the Boston Stranglers claiming third place in the CLFL over the Washington Weasels in the consolation game, 67-64.

Congratulations to everyone who placed this season and thank you to everyone for playing.  It was certainly a memorable season for the first 16 weeks, and now as we head into the playoffs where we can watch football for the sake of...

WATCHING FOOTBALL!

 

BUFFALO SNOTPILE
2002 CLFL CHAMPIONS

Lead by Drew Bledsoe, Ricky Williams, and Travis Henry most of the way, Brent and Jason's Buffalo Snotpile overcame a valiant effort by Green Bay's defense and Chad Johnson of the Washington Weasels to win their first CLFL title by the score of 58-54.  The Weasel's were without their starting backfield comprised of Priest Holmes and Anthony Thomas, having to play Leon Johnson and Mike Cloud.  If that's not a kick in the balls, I don't know what is!  The Weasel's go 0-3 in the last three years, appearing in each CLFL Championship.

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALL CLFL HALF WAY TEAM
(based on player AVERAGES)

QB  RICH GANNON
RB  PRIEST HOLMES
RB  LADANIAN TOMLINSON
WR  ERIC MOULDS
WR  MARVIN HARRISON
WR  PEERLESS PRICE
TE  TONY GONZALES
K  ALI AJI SHEIK
DEF/ST  TAMPA BAY

Gannon continues to light it up, week after week.  Holmes and Tomlinson are unstoppable.  Moulds and Price are featured in the NFL's best passing game in Buffalo, while Marvin Harrison is quietly putting up the same big numbers we're used to.  Tony Gonzales, although not explosive this year, continues to be the focal point of the Cheifs passing attack.  Tampa Bay has taken advantage of their weak schedule and have laid the pipe to their opponents week after week.

 

 

 

 

ALL CLFL BUST TEAM:
(based on player AVERAGES)

QB  KURT WARNER
RB  SHAUN ALEXANDER
RB  ANTOWAIN SMITH
WR  JOHNNY MORTON
WR  DARRELL JACKSON
WR  KEVIN JOHNSON
TE  FREDDIE JONES
K  SCOTT NORWOOD
DEF/ST  CLEVELAND

Kurt Warner threw for 1 TD and 7 ints before getting injured.  Shaun Alexander had one good game, the rest have been awful.  Antowain Smith is no longer the main ingredient in the Pats offense.  Johnny Morton will just make you puke looking at his stats and targets.  Kevin Johnson and Darrell Jackson the same thing.  Freddie Jones looked for a rebirth in Arizona and Plummer doesn't look his way very much.  The Cleveland defense was the second defense chosen and have played horrendously.  

 

 

 

 


 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Wow!".  That's about the only word that kept coming out of my mouth yesterday as I enjoyed week one action.  Typically, there are a few names that surprise during the first two weeks of the season.  Some weird upsets often happen early in the season,  but yesterday was just an off the wall freak show extravaganza.  Let us count the many ways in which week one was one of the most bizarre opening weeks in fantasy history.


The Houston Texans open the season as 14 point underdogs to the free agent/pro bowl talent laden Miami Dolphin squad.  Essentially, this looked like a preseason game.  David Carr running for his life all afternoon from Zach Thomas and Junior Seau behind a patchwork offensive line. Ricky Williams running all over the place, popcorning Texan defenders like we're watching Christian Okoye on Super Tecmo Bowl.

Ricky Williams, with the exception of a nice catch and run for a TD, had a slow afternoon with only 17 carries for 69 yards as Dom Capers apparently devised a defensive game plan and provided the blueprint to slow Ricky down.  Corey Bradford raced past Pro Bowl CB Sam Madison as he raced untouched to the end zone.  Jay Fiedler then threw an interception and Houston's Kris Brown kicks his 5th field goal of the afternoon for a 21-20 Texans upset.

Jeff Blake did his best impersonation of Kurt Warner a few years ago, chunking up 363 yards and 3 TD's.  Two of those went to unnoticed rookie Anquan Bolden.  He had 10 catches for 217 yards.  You have got to be kidding me....

Anthony Thomas and Onterrio Smith were rumored to be the go to guys for their respective teams heading into week one.  The result?  they two running backs totaled 2 carries.  Smith didn't even play a snap, while the A-Train has obviously become a Ron Dayne clone.  Adrian Peterson didn't do much better.  Why?  The Bears suck and Kordell Stewart finally has proven that he isn't fit to start (or play at all for that matter) anywhere.  That's all there is to it. 

Jerry Porter, Marc Boerighter, and Ashley Lelie.  The new breed.  Not quite.  Old farts Tim Brown, Jerry Rice, Johnny Morton, and Rod Smith are still getting the playing time and being thrown to often.

The Packers had a miserable opening to the season at home where they were trampled early with Favre throwing some interceptions.  It's obvious that the quality of his receivers contributed to his terrible game yesterday.  Driver is week to week, while Ferguson could be out for a while with torn ligaments in his foot.  

Priest Holmes dispelled any rumors that his hip is hurting or that he may have lost a step.  See box score for details.  :)

Joey Harrington threw 4 TD passes yesterday, two of which went to rookie WR Charlie Rogers.  Harrington looked comfortable yesterday and the Lions rolled up 42 points versus Arizona.  No defense whatsoever for either of these two teams.  Start the water boy against the Cards and Lions.

Kurt Warner's comeback was pretty bad.  The Giants harassed Warner all afternoon, forcing him to fumble SIX TIMES.  OWOowOWOowoOW.  He also coughed one up in the end zone for a Giants defensive score.  Warner reportedly sustained a concussion early in the game and is done.  Marc Bulger starts next week.  Oh yeah...
Marshall Faulk:  9 car, 28 yds, 7 rec, 27 yds, & no TD.  Please Mike Martz, give this guy the ball.

Ladanian Tomlinson had an uncharacteristic opening game versus the Chiefs (terrible run defense last year),  It seems that the addition of Vonnie Holiday has shored up the KC front seven, as a backfield with LT being blocked for by Lorenzo Neal totaled a paltry 32 yards on 13 carries.  Tomlinson was stopped late in the game on a 4th and inches as well.  

Finally, speaking of defense...

The Buffalo Bills put the clamps down on the Patriots yesterday.  Former Bengal Takeo Spikes was all over the field and had two interceptions yesterday.  He was going crazy, I think he's a Ninja.  London Fletcher, Sam Adams, Antoine Winfield, and Nate Clements played like they were all world yesterday as well.  The excitement was in the air at the Ralph for the first time in many years and the Bills seem to have assembled a special group of players who really figure to reek havoc on opposing offenses.  Who's that other guy?  Oh that's right, Lawyer Milloy.  5 tackles and a sack with 4 pro bowl appearances are pretty good for a guy who signed with the Bills last Wednesday.

Good luck next week.

ThE CoMmIsH

      

 

Rams done?  Fun n' Gun still fun?  Get me a gun?
Yep, Monday Night Magic for Marshall Faulk and the Rams.  They were supposed to rise to the occassion and show that they are the same team they were last season, but they didn't.  Instead, Marshall Faulk's status is questionable for this weekend thanks to Derrick Brooks and his atomic drop.   Trung Canidate can't even help.  Where's Issac Bruce?  Anybody else think he dropped that pass on purpose last night?  Does it look like Kurt Warner is not even trying to play smart and solid football or is it just me?  These guys look like they are betting on themselves, I have to admit.  In theory, of course, this sounds ludicrous.  But in actuality, if you've watched the bad passes from the guy who threw 40 td passes, you have to wonder.  What the hell happened to these guys?  I'm still going to contend that they are beating themselves, lacking the intensity on defense they had last season, and they are not running the football.  The Zerks hope Faulk can get better.

It was really fun to watch the Redskins this week.  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.  It was real fun to watch.  I like to watch Spurrier lose.  I'm sorry.

Is it just me, or is it some old crusty has been that decides he's going to have a rebirth every season?  Lamar Smith had a monster 150 yards and 2 scores against Minny on Sunday to prove to us all that, no matter who it is at running back against Minnesota, start them. 

I really love the Buffalo Bills.  If they can find a defense they can be dangerous.  

Watch Out:  Dillon's 200 yard game has to be coming real soon!!  :)

This has been a crazy season, I look forward it getting even nuttier in weeks to come...

   

 

   





 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Dah, I thought the "fun 'n gun was potent?"

Guess what.  The Redskins aren't good.  In fact, they aren't even adequate after last night's debacle at home against Philadelphia.  As a veteran football watcher, I can honestly say that the offensive sputtering the Redskins encountered last night did not surprise me one bit.  On the contrary, their defense did.  In Washington you have big name, big game linebackers in Arrington, Trotter, and Armstead.  They have a secondary with Champ Bailey and up and comer Fred Smoot on the corners and Sam Shade at safety.  They even have a half way decent DL.  What happened to the defense last night?  

Marvin Lewis, you ARE a genius.  You took some of the finest defensive players in the NFL and turned them into a sieve.  Wasn't it supposed to be Minnesota and Buffalo giving up 40 points?  Oh wait, they did, my bad.  As you can see the NFL has some great defense being played right now.....

Like Brian Billick without Cris Carter and Brad Johnson, like Mike Holmgren without Brett Favre, and like Mike Shanahan without John Elway, Marvin Lewis is no different.  He is no genius without Ray Lewis and fatso Siragusa and Adams in the middle f the DL.  He is no genius without Peter Boulware and Jamie Sharper.  It's been proven.  Sometimes it's the system, sometimes it's the players.  In Lewis' case, it's the players, and he doesn't have them anymore.  Look for the Redskins to go down the shitter for good in the next 3 weeks.   

Rams, Steelers, among NFL's worst teams?

Not really.  With the Chargers and Panthers undefeated at 2-0, and the Rams and Steelers at 0-2, you have to be scratching your head.  Just a slight indication of what might be in store this season.  Don't try and figure it out, there no way.  I don't think the Steelers have quite the offense they imagined.  Their defense has been exposed, but they can adjust with the talent they have.  However, the Rams do not stink.  They have good defensive players, a good coach, and superstars on offense.  I think they are getting lazy, to be honest.  Until you see Marshall Faulk acting like he just scored his FIRST NFL touchdown, you'll see no enthusiam or spirit from any other Ram.  As Faulk goes, the Rams go, physically and psychologically.  I think the Rams need a good counseling session this week and a match under their ass, and they be fine.  

The Chargers and Panthers?  Opponents:  Lions, Ravens, Bengals, Texans.  

No, they won't make the playoffs, either of them.  Enough said. 

CLFL Week Two:  More insanity.
In the same boat as his NFL team, Marshall Faulk and the Aberdeen Zerkillers dropped to 0-2 on the season, along with Manhattan and Brooklyn.  It's been proven that 0-2 doesn't mean anything more than a good free agent pick in terms of where you'll end up.

Seneca Falls continued their recent dominance of the Washington Weasels with their 4th victory in a row.  WEasel's ass is sore.......ouch.

The Boston Stranglers, Nantucket Notaclue, and the Philadelphia Phatbags are all 2-0.  How long can they remain undefeated?  All other teams are at 1-1 on the season.

Rodney Peete and Mark Brunell each threw for over 300 yards last weekend in the passing department, while Ricky Williams and Deuce McAllister went over 100 yards and scored.  Fred Taylor, Edgerrin James, and Jamal Lewis?  Still lookin good, no signs of the virus yet.  I stress yet.  

Good luck in week three......  

 

 

     

WEEKLY CALENDAR

Wednesday's - Free Agent Draft, 9 PM deadline

Friday's - weekly trade deadline, 9 PM

Saturday - Game of the Week

Sunday - Weasel's Bets
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